Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
