If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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