They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
