y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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