Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
