when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
