So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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