left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
