Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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