that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
