my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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