I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
