I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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