Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry nlbrook1 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god

(202): View more from Washington, DC

you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary

Fav 27 1770 781
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.

Fav 7 3147 865
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.

Fav 53 9649 1197
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore

Fav 8 1384 3700
share tweet
(415): View more from California

What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises

Fav 4 1609 821
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.

Fav 7 2064 779
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(419): View more from Ohio

I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away

Fav 1 789 1142
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(419): View more from Ohio

250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND

Fav 4 789 295
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(415): View more from California

I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.

Fav 0 42 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT