my room smells like sperm. sweet.
where am i from again
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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