bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
