did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
