i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
