Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
