O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize