Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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