you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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