lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
