Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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