i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
