oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
