..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Ketchup is God's man juice
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
