Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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