Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
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I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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