Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
