theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
