i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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