I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize