I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
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