oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
BRING THE BAGELS
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
