wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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