I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
