3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
