trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
