You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
