so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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