Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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