Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize