so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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