Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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