at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
