i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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