I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Me too!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize