He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
