need another drink. this is the easiest way
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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