I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
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So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My dick has a subreddit
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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