Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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