how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
