she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I would ride that face into the sunset
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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