So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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