my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
