Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Alive.
So much puke
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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