well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
