am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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