she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
