garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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