I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
